This week has been.

Dear all,

As stated in the title, yes, this week has actually existed. It is actually a great story, that I am going to save for when I can tell it in person, with all of my pointless hand gestures and loud repetition. Here are some of the highlights: A vampiric insane Bee, Bananas, Russian drugs, a witch trying to jumpstart me like a car, and shampoo. That is just a little taste of the most dramatic story you will ever hear. To make it better, see if you can't get me to eat some candy of drink some Fanta right before I tell it. It will be epic.

Anywho, Derek asked me in an email what I want when I arrive home. I know the answer to that like I know the stages of the Paleozoic. Really well. Just ask me. I want Whole milk, Salsa Verde Doritoes(The green ones :D), and dried pineapples ( I like the ones from winco, but I bet others are good too.). I have put a lot of thought into this, and so I will explain. There are so many insanely good things at home, all of which I have been deprived, I have gotten to the point where I have sort of just driven them from my mind. Not so these three things. The milk is because there is not much to have here. I have had fresh boiled milk twice (utterly deliciouse (bahahaha, that was punny)), and I tasted the horrifying terror that is the milk they sell here once and wanted to curl up into a ball, weep, and then die. It has added vegetable oil, so all it tastes like is drinking vegetable oil. So, I have been craving milk since my arrival. The Doritoes are another story entirely.

And here it is: My leprachaun friend was craving "crisps" (Silly leprachaun, they're chips.). SO we kept our eyes out for them. Eventually, we spotted some chips, there were even Doritoes brand and Lays for her! We were both so excited that we did not even quibble over the fact that we were paying a huge amount of money for the smallest bags of chips either of us will ever buy. They sounded like chips, the bags crunched like chip bags, and as we opened them, and got those first chips to eat, we could not have been more excited about it. And then: HORROR! Imagine my situation, all the signs were leading to a good chip, doritoes in a green bag, the correct shape and color, the appropriate amount of seasonings. I was ready for a reasonably tasty treat. Instead I got the worst chip ever. Think of the grossest chip you have ever eaten, multiply that grossness by the square root of poop, and you will have the taste of my chip. Then use that in a formula to derive sorrow in a situtation, keeping in mind my expectations, an you will be simply shocked. I was heartbroken, and I could not even bring myself to finish my miniscule bag of chips. I gave them to another friend, who laughed at my sad, sad situation.

The pineapples come from somewhere dark in my head that sometimes springs crazy thoughts on me the way a panther springs on a happy bunny in a meadow. I am the happy bunny, so I do not enjoy it, but, as the happy bunny, I am consumed by the panther and must there after follow its will. The panther this time is a deep craving for dried pineapples with my chips and milk. Let's all be grateful that the dark panther is usually only things like that, and not a deep desire to see all the men of the world noseless or some other such dangerous nonsense. My crazyness aside, both green doritoes and dried pineapple go really really well with milk, so I am ready for that when I get home. And thanks to this stupid post (and also to you Derek), those three things will be on my mind even more than they already have been. I will be home a little less than an exact week from this very moment! I love you all!

Katie